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PSYCHOLOGICAL
STRESS IN MARRIAGE
Robert
A. Dato, Ph.D., NCPsyA
Marriage is a uniquely civilizing relationship based on
commitment to mutual development and happiness. Yet the
complexity of the marital relationship almost ensures that
each partner will experience significant stress at various
times throughout the marriage. Here is some basic advice
that will help you to manage the stress in your marriage.
ACCEPT YOUR DIFFERENCES. You develop best
when you have the opportunity to learn from someone different
from yourself.
NO ONE IS RIGHT. Each partner has a perception
of events which is suited to his or her needs and wishes,
not to the whole of reality.
COMMUNICATE TO RESOLVE PROBLEMS. Regular,
ongoing communication between spouses prevents problems
from increasing in size and becoming entrenched.
DEFINE YOUR MARITAL ROLES. Roles must be
very clearly defined and occasionally modified to achieve
and maintain harmony in your marriage.
DEVELOP COMMON VALUES AND INTERESTS. The
more common your values and interests and the more similarly
you prioritize these, the fewer your power struggles.
TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. When illness or
hard times come, the vulnerable partner should be treated
with patience, compassion, and love.
LOVE EACH OTHER. Even when all is well,
spouses must be sensitive to and fulfill the needs and wishes
of each other unless these constitute unreasonable demands.
EXPRESS APPRECIATION. Acknowledge the kind
and thoughtful little things your spouse does with sincere
verbal appreciation.
IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN. Commit yourself to
their growth and development, but do not neglect your own
development or that of your marriage in the process.
MARRIAGE ISN'T PERFECT. Nor was it meant to be.
Allow your partner to fulfill some of his or her needs and
wishes outside the marriage without inducing guilt.
©
1993 Dr. Robert Dato, Dato Leadership Institute
www.dato-leadership-institute.com
All Rights Reserved.
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